Ohio Film Festival Graphic Designer To Go With Film Reels For The O's Dear The Onion, I don’t have a Facebook account, but I just wanted you to know that I enjoy your publication. Please add one to whatever number of likes you currently have online. Carly Durland, Binghamton, NY President Obama concluded in his first year that the Bush-era dream of remaking Afghanistan was a fantasy. The lessons he has learned there have shaped his presidency. For the fifth year in a row, Apple has been named the World’s Most Admired Company by Fortune Magazine. Apple also ranks first again in the Innovation category. Noting the “runaway success” of iPhone 4S and iPad 2 and increased sales across the board, the magazine writes: “To say it was another big year for Apple would be a gross understatement.” JOPLIN, MO—If Trevor Mahoney had reserved the U-Haul like he said he would, we wouldn't even be having this conversation in the first place, dick. Jubilant Rangers Throw Skates Into Stands Ed Baig of USA Today reviews the new iPad and declares that it “snatches the crown from its predecessor as the finest tablet you can buy. Period.” Baig calls the new Retina display “spectacular” and points out that the screen is “sharper than your high-definition television.” He also lauds the built-in battery, which allowed him to use it for an entire day without recharging. And he points out that Apple “continues to claim a huge advantage over Android and other tablet rivals” with its apps ecosystem. Dwyane Wade and LeBron James led Miami’s explosive third-quarter comeback against the Pacers, combining for 70 points as the Heat rallied from an 8-point halftime deficit. TLC 10:00 p.m. EST/9:00 p.m. CST Eddie returns to Cleveland, where he hasn’t been since he was a kid, and is surprised to find they built the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame there. Never-Used Bike Still In Pretty Good Shape Two new studies associate a common disorder of sleep that causes pauses in breathing with a higher risk of cancer. Bloomberg’s Peter Burrows reports that Apple is making rapid headway selling into corporations — especially financial services and pharmaceutical firms. Burrows writes that Apple’s corporate sales are being driven chiefly by iPad, which “has become a standard business tool.” The article quotes Matt Wallach, co-founder of Veeva Systems, who says: “I’ve seen a lot of devices come and go over the years. Nothing touches the speed of adoption of the iPad.” Mr. World Peace changed his name last year in order to show he'd rejected the hooliganism that got him in trouble as Ron Artest, but he's also coming off a seven-game suspension for a blind elbow. Check out the news from the launch and be among the first to download Internet Explorer 9. NBC 9:00 p.m. EST/8:00 p.m. CST Davy Anthony must protect his happily unaware family from a rogue skeet that could fly out from any direction at any time. Apple today announced that the Fair Labor Association will conduct special voluntary audits of Apple’s final assembly suppliers, including Foxconn factories in Shenzhen and Chengdu, China, at Apple’s request. “We believe that workers everywhere have the right to a safe and fair work environment, which is why we’ve asked the FLA to independently assess the performance of our largest suppliers,” said Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO. A team of labor rights experts led by FLA president Auret van Heerden began the first inspections Monday morning at the facility in Shenzhen known as Foxconn City. Jessica Tanley married Rodney Holl beneath a beautiful evening sky, hoping for a shooting star at the moment of their “I Do’s,” but of course that didn’t happen because Rodney always screws everything up. The new iPad — the third generation of the category-defining mobile device — arrived at Apple’s Retail Stores and the Apple Online Store on Friday, March 16 at 8:00 a.m. local time in the US, Australia, Canada, France, Germany, Hong Kong, Japan, Singapore, Switzerland, and the UK; along with Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands. Beginning at a suggested retail price of $499 (US), the new iPad features a stunning Retina display, Apple’s A5X chip with quad-core graphics, and a 5-megapixel iSight camera with advanced optics for capturing amazing photos and 1080p HD video. And iPad 2 is now available at a more affordable price, starting at just $399. SEATTLE—A string of independent bakeries in the Seattle area apparently provided enough material to warrant a 73-minute documentary titled Rise: The Resurgence Of The Artisanal Bakery, 27-year-old Netflix browser Cyrus Wall observed Sunday. Apple today introduced the new iPad — the third generation of its category-defining mobile device — featuring a stunning new Retina display, Apple’s new A5X chip with quad-core graphics, and a 5-megapixel iSight camera with advanced optics for capturing incredible photos and 1080p HD video. iPad with Wi-Fi + 4G connects to fast networks worldwide, including AT&T’s and Verizon’s 4G LTE networks, and still delivers the same all-day 10-hour battery life while remaining amazingly thin and light. The new iPad will be available in black or white through the Apple Online Store and in Apple Retail stores on Friday, March 16, beginning at $499 (US). Customers can begin pre-ordering their new iPad today on the Apple Online Store. Also beginning today, iPad 2 will be offered at an even more affordable price, starting at just $399 (US). New York Times writer Brian X. Chen reports that Amtrak is replacing its old manual ticketing system with iPhone, noting that the company is among the “growing number of businesses” to use iOS devices to improve operations. Chen reports that the system will allow conductors to keep track of passengers in real time and also provide updates to railway staff, such as if a disabled person is getting on at a particular stop or if equipment fails. Amtrak’s Matt Hardison says, “We’ve made a number of important improvements for both our customers and Amtrak, all in one fell swoop.”